Other Stuff

Taking DealerRefresh ON THE ROAD, It’s about time right?

That’s right, from here on out DealerRefresh will not only be your source of information for the cutting edge automotive Internet sales professional but will now be a FULL FLEDGED CONSULTING SERVICE!

We are hands down bringing dealers a Service and Solution (s) like nothing ever before seen in the car dealer industry with month to month consulting contracts – because we feel we have to continue to earn your business.

Our Services Include:

ODC – One-on-One In Dealer Coaching – ONLY $199.00
When we step into your showroom, you’ll feel the energy of DealerRefresh but when you sit down with us for one on one coaching, it’s like learning by osmosis. Within only a few minutes you will quickly gain the ability to close more deals form all your Internet marketing avenues.

ALS – Answering Leads FAST! – $399 ONLY $199.00
WOW your customers and differentiate yourself from the competition. Our process will teach you how to increase your average response time to just under 3 minutes for each and every lead with a fully custom and personal message GUARANTEED! (only works in conjunction with the email template package)

NPS – Ninja Phone Skills – $299 ONLY $199.00
Have you always wanted the skills of a black belt on the phone? Well when we’re done with you, you’ll be a Ninja on the voice box. You’ll be setting so many appointments, extending your hours of operation will NOT be an option.

ETW – Email Templates that WORK!  – $749 ONLY $199.99
These email templates will have your customers practically running to the phone to call you. No other service can provide nor guarantee you a 70% response rate. That’s right!! We have tracked a 70% response rate to our precise formulated email templates.

Email templates include:

  • Did you get my quote?
  • It’s been over a week
  • Just left you a message
  • Where you is? < we can vary messages by demographic region for better relevancy >
  • Did you forget your appointment?
  • Don’t forget my number!
  • Don’t you know it’s the weekend?
  • Yes we can!

And of course an array of Price Quote Templates laid out to perfection. These email templates SELL CARS!!

ADDED BONUS! When you sign up for our email template package, we will include our exclusive auto-responder. This auto-responder has been under lock and key but we are bringing it out of the vault just for you! Heck, you’ll increase sales by 15% with this one email (auto-responder).

WCA – Website Conversion Analysis – $899 ONLY $199.99
DealerRefresh specializes in working with every single website provider for car dealers on the planet. Our analysis will find out what’s working and what’s not – we’ll be looking at the hardcore code of your site as well! After our complete 2 day conversion optimization, we guarantee an increase in website conversion by over 43%. This includes email leads, phone and even walk-in traffic. You will just be AMAZED!

Just an idea of what the Hardcore code investigation entails:

  • Page title path length
  • Meta description lengths
  • Sourcing the Keywords in your site
  • Making sure HTML is used in appropriate places
  • Writing a precise heading summary
  • Optimizing images and animation for faster load times
  • Find more external links
  • Get more of your pages indexed
  • Get you listed in all the directories
  • Show you how to measure this for yourself

Added BONUSGuaranteed FIRST PLACEMENT in all the major search engines or thousands of keyword searches. You will DOMINATE the SERPS with your dealer website while capturing every customer in your market.

RVS – Real Video SEO –  $599 ONLY $199.99
Guaranteed first page results in the the major search engines, including Google. We’ll edit, produce, upload, tag and optimize your exclusive dealer videos only found with DealerRefresh.

When a customer does a search for “Kansas City 2005 Honda LX White with Leather and Navigation” – We WILL GUARANTEE you first page placement on YouTube. That’s “Long Tail” keyword video search at it’s BEST!!

We will corner the market in video search for your dealer. Every customer in your area on the internet will be watching your videos before you know it!

TPVE – Third Party Vendor Evaluation – $199 ONLY $99.99
Have you been wondering if you can get by without third party leads? We’ll show you which ones you can dump and which ones should stay based on a thorough evaluation.  We have the calculations and available to help you rate your third party leads against what you can grow yourself. We can even tell you if you would have gotten that customer anyway.

ICFP – Internet Customer Follow-up Process – $399 ONLY $199.99
Let’s face it, the rule of equal incompetency is a major player amongst a lot of marketplaces.  How do you get the extra leg up on your competition?  It is quite simple:  Buy our ICFP and ETW packages (we’ll give you a package deal for buying two) and your competition won’t know what hit them.  Our process is designed based on buying timelines and stats collected over the years that can be broken down to the model type of a vehicle a customer is interested in.  So you’re not just following-up with the same message for every customer – this is targeted and relevant!

PGP – Perfect Google Placement (PPC Marketing) – $399 ONLY $199.99
We have a winning batch of keywords that can be custom tailored to fit your marketplace and works with any SEM Vendor!  No need to switch – just plug and play!

Before we drop our keywords into your PPC campaigns we start off by evaluating your competition’s search engine presence.  We know which of our keywords to emphasize to land you above them for the right search phrases. When someone does a keyword search for your dealership..you’ll be there in the top spot. And we strategically show variations of your dealership name so people not only know exactly what they’re clicking on (higher closing ratio) you also get some extra branding.

ISR – Internet Sales Recruitment – ONLY $199.99 per hire
We can handle the hiring and recruitment of the right people for your Internet department.  It does take a special person to fill that role and we know how to find that person.  Instead of you taking on the hiring headache, let us do it for you.  We guarantee this will be a long-time employee who excels in online selling!

SMTM -Sales Manager Technology Motivation – ONLY $99.99 per piece per 10 sales managers
Have you been having a tough time getting your sales managers to support your Internet Department?  Have you been having a tough time getting your sales managers to use that expensive CRM you invested in?  Are you having a tough time getting your sales managers to invest their time in making your cars look good online?  Is there a piece of technology you just invested in you can’t get them on-board with?

Yep, we’ve been there.  We will work with you to define where your process needs are and evaluate which technologies you already have that could work together to fix the need.  Then we will work one-on-one with your sales managers to show them how the technology and process will help them sell more cars…or at the very least – show them how to better manage their sales people.

BUT WAIT…there’s MORE!

When you act now and purchase over $500.00 in monthly consulting packages we’ll throw in our BRAND SPANKING NEW, NEVER RELEASED TO THE PUBLIC…CWT

Close With Twitter

Looking for another 20 sales a month (on average)? They’re out there AND on Twitter. Our patent “Close With Twitter” program will absolutely astonish you. The best part..you do NOTHING!

DO NOT miss out on this extraordinary opportunity. Your competition will be wondering…WTF while you’re CWTing. Who’s the tweet now?

Order NOW!
Dominate your competition, OWN the internet and
sell a crap load of cars!!

NOTE: Due to an overwhelming response, please do not call. Leave your information and comments in the form and we will get back with you ASAP.

  • J
  • April 1, 2009
Had me until the middle. Thanks, I needed the laugh...
  • R
  • April 1, 2009
Fair proposal, the deal looks "OKAY" on paper - but what if I want everything - what would be total cost if we "bundled" EVERYTHING?? Sharpen your pencil and get back to me on this!

Wow Wow Wow!!! This is an all time favorite-maybe because I am a vendor and hear this all day from our competitors - (never us though, right!)

Great writing - don't let anybody ever tell you that you are just a "car guy."

Seriously Hilarious Post!
Ha! What day is it again? I'll bite if this is available tomorrow.
  • I
    Ian Statler
  • April 1, 2009
I sent my contact information in a separate email.

We are getting on board with the ODC, NPS, PGP and the WCA! Of course this will get us the CWT - Close with Twitter.

Looking forward to your response back.

  • R
    Robert Smithwicks
  • April 1, 2009
I think I can get some of my supervisors to stroke a check :)

I've got your back...for $199 per month.
Good golly! I was actually buying this for a paragraph or two.... this is not fair on the first day of the month when I have been pounding out end of month reports since 7 am - I truly am in zombie mode, lol. Cheers!
Man why did you not tell me about this when we were scheduling the <a href="http://www.ismintraining.com/marketing/automotive-seo-marketing/automotive-seo-conference-wrap-up/" rel="nofollow">Automotive SEO Conference</a>. I could of got you a booth as a charter member for a big discount.

That would of been the perfect platform for announcing this.
  • M
    Mike Keesee
  • April 1, 2009
$199 wow, thats going to take away from my down payment on a brand new 2003 Mitsubishi, who's burning the gas now?
I'm in - buying one of each franchise (Chrysler, GM, Ford, Nissan, Infiniti, Toyota...all them) tomorrow so I can take advantage of this amaaaaazing offer. Can I get a DGI evaluation as well?
  • J
    Jeff Kershner
  • April 1, 2009
@Jamie - we were holding back on the DGI evaluations for the time being. Too advance for most. ;)
  • M
  • April 1, 2009
I think that if I buy it within the next 10 minutes, I am entitled to a package of two for the same $199 plus shipping and handling, otherwise - no deal.
Also I assume that the operators are standing by, and the quantity is limited...
Well...golly Gee Wiz. I don't know where to start. I mean we're talkin bout(ODC ALS, NPS, ETW, WCA, RVS, TPVE, ICFP, PGP, ISR, SMTM,) ABCDEFG
My heads-a-spinnin. I think I need to hire a consultant to consult with me about which consulting services I may need from this DR consultant group...LOL
Good one.

Lot of time on your hands, I see.
This was as good or better than the "Car and Driver Chevy and Dodge being forced to pull out of Nascar by Obama" email.

I actually was going to sign up for the Ninja Phone Skills.

Well played!
Hi Jeff,

I'd like to work together to help increase sales at our dealership. Give me a call.

Mike Warwick
This has to be the best deal on the net! Total domination is within my grasp!
This is looking interesting. You will be successful with it because you know your stuff.
  • J
    Jeff Kershner
  • April 4, 2009
Oh yea..I almost forgot. APRIL FOOLS!

Some actually thought this was for real :)
  • C
    Chris K
  • April 4, 2009
This looks like a nice time to give Dealer Refresh some competition, since this is now technically going to be a Retail Website. To keep things on the up and up, I'd suggest another DR website to compliment the Consulting entity, linking out to it. However with all the real estate now dedicated to advertisers, Dealer Refresh will be perceived much differently than it is today when you fully implement your offerings. Some of us are looking for great ideas, and collaboration without having to pull out our credit cards, just for looking.
OMG, the hook was in my mouth! hahahaha Rack this post! It's a classic!

p.s. Looks like Chris K swallowed the hook!
Jeff, are we really this cheap?
  • J
    Jeff Kershner
  • April 4, 2009
Hell NO!!!
Here I am thinking about how I want to get into consulting and working on trying to start my own company, Dealer Internet Sales Solutions (DISS) and I see this and I started to panic. I mean that was a lot of stuff to offer for very little money. I heard of giving away cars but giving away consulting (LOL).

Jeff, you are awesome.

You got me... Again! I was trying to figure out if each was an hour, and it was $199 per hour, with a minimum of an 8 hour day... How it could work. Almost as good as when the REAL Jeff Kershner was revealed on ADM at the last Digital Dealer held in Orlando. Keep up the great work, not only is DealerRefresh an inspiration, but you always remind the rest of us not to take ourselves so seriously that we forget to have fun.

Your friend... RP
  • E
    Erin Touponse
  • April 6, 2009
I was reading your post and thinking omg he's lost his mind... you are too funny.

I can't tell you how disappointed I was to find that DGI evaluations were left out of your offer! Most dealers would be shocked to find out that their DGI is comparable to a can of Tuna Fish!

This was great. All I can say is "Sham-WOW"